Do you feel you are unable to cope with your little one’s difficult or negative behaviours? Does incorporating positive behaviour support strategies into your child’s daily routine seem difficult? Well, in today’s times, when there is too much distraction and exposure to influence our little ones, finding the appropriate strategies to nurture them and redirect their negative behaviours towards positive behaviours may seem challenging.
And to top it off, our busy schedules aren’t helping either. In the whirlwind of parenting young children and fulfilling our duties, reinforcing good behaviour is getting trickier. What do we do to not get things out of hand?
The earliest years are very important for developing the appropriate behaviours in them. During this phase, they easily make impressions, and whatever they absorb gets deeply ingrained. So, how we behave and correct them will go a long way towards deciding how they turn up as adults. Not saying or doing the right things can harm their little minds and make them socially awkward.
The trick, therefore, is to ensure your words are positively inclined but firm. With positive behaviour support and a few Montessori-inspired strategies, creating a nurturing and supportive environment is possible. This guide will introduce practical methods for adopting positive reinforcement strategies in your parenting journey, helping you better navigate your child’s emotional and social development.
Understanding positive behaviour support
First of all, it is necessary that you understand that correcting your child when they are rude or wrong shouldn’t be about punishment or control. It must be about teaching and modelling desired behaviours through appropriate words and actions. When you empathise with them, and they feel heard, they are more likely to modify their inappropriate behaviour towards something more suitable.
Through this positive support, you must encourage positive behaviour in children by focusing on their needs and motivations instead of momentary impulses. It allows us parents to understand better why a behaviour occurs and then address it proactively with empathy and guidance instead of anger or reprimanding.
Our busy schedules may often interfere with our patience to better understand a situation, but with positive behaviour support, we learn to handle the situation better. It is helpful as it emphasizes consistency, patience, and understanding — qualities that help reduce stress and increase satisfaction in parenting. Furthermore, infused with Montessori, it helps to invest in a parenting process that respects children’s individuality and natural developmental stages.
Ways to implement positive behaviour support with Montessori at home
Practicing Montessori at home is a very simple affair. Montessori always emphasises on having a natural approach towards parenting, and by allowing your child to learn on their own and in carefully structured surroundings, you can strategically teach them responsibility and manners, minus the struggle.
Through self-directed activities and practical life tasks, your child will learn to take responsibility for their actions, developing self-discipline naturally. Here are some ways you can practice Montessori at home and also build positive behaviour support in your child through a Montessori-inspired home:
1. Create a child-centred environment
Creating a positive behaviour plan requires an essential step of creating a dedicated space that allows them to be free but also feel safe. A child-centred environment means that your child has access to everything that boosts their independence and learning. Set up shelves with easily accessible toys, books, and other activities within their reach so that they can make choices on their own. This will build in them a sense of autonomy and make them understand the responsibility behind their choices and actions.
Tip: Encourage them to put away their things once they are done by placing them in a basket or tray on the shelf. This will encourage them to be organised from an early age.
2. Establish routines that are easy to remember
Setting routines is one of the simplest ways of reinforcing good behaviour in children. Routines provide young children with a sense of stability, and this is crucial for positive behaviour support. When children know what to expect, they feel secure and are more likely to exhibit positive behaviours.
Download these free printables to build a daily routine for your child.
You can include simple activities like putting previously worn clothes in a basket after getting dressed, putting the glass away in a dedicated place after finishing their milk or tidying up toys before moving to a new activity. This consistency will teach your child to take responsibility for their actions in a natural and non-stressful way.
3. Offer them choices
Montessori emphasizes giving children freedom within limits, allowing them to make age-appropriate choices. When you give your child the freedom to choose, they eventually learn to take responsibility for their choices. Knowing they are in control makes them feel safe, and they are more likely to behave positively because of that than if you were scolding or ordering them.
Example: You can offer them simple choices like, “Would you like to read a story or play with blocks first?” This will give them a sense of autonomy and the ability to make a decision, which will make them feel responsible for the activities and their outcomes.
4. Practice what you wish to preach
Children learn by watching and imitating adults, so modelling the behaviour you want to see is essential. One of the cornerstones of positive behaviour support is about devising ways that influence good behaviours. Your reactions, your words, and your thoughts are going to influence them, so put on your best behaviour to show how they must behave.
You can also reinforce positive actions with praise or simple recognition when they do something right to highlight which behaviours are desirable. For example, if your child calmly asks for a toy rather than grabbing it, acknowledge this positive behaviour with a warm response. Tell them, “I noticed how politely you asked for the toy — that was very kind!” and this will reinforce the behaviour and encourage them to repeat it.
5. Redirect them instead of punishments
When a child is displaying undesirable behaviour, gently guide their attention to an appropriate alternative rather than using punishment. This approach teaches the correct behaviour without creating a negative association, allowing the child to learn in a constructive way. You can read this blog to learn about how you can say it to your child.
Positive behaviour support helps parents create a nurturing environment where young children feel understood and encouraged. By using such strategies, you can significantly improve social interactions and self-regulation as well.
Teaching young children empathy and respect is crucial for building positive relationships. Montessori encourages children to respect others’ work and personal space, fostering empathy from an early age. Therefore, it is important to make them understand the intention behind your redirection or reinforcement of positive behaviour in order to better display good behaviours.
Practical Tip: Use consistent language and actions when guiding positive behaviour. For instance, if you use phrases like “gentle hands” to prevent rough play, stick with this phrase so that it becomes clear and familiar to your child over time.
Key Montessori principles that support positive behaviour
- Practical Life Activities: Montessori encourages parents to include activities like pouring water or sweeping in their child’s routine in order to build concentration, independence, and responsibility. When your child engages in such activities, they naturally build positive behaviour in addition to building developmental milestones.
- Control of Error: Montessori stresses encouraging children to learn on their own and correct their own mistakes. This is a great method for positive behaviour support and teaches them the importance of self-assessment.
- Grace and Courtesy: Montessori includes lessons on grace and courtesy to teach respect, empathy, and social behaviour through a strategically developed positive behaviour plan. You can build good manners by simple ways of introducing polite language or encouraging them to share as everyday habits.
Final thoughts
Integrating positive behaviour support with Montessori principles at home is a powerful way to support your child’s emotional and social development. While every child is unique, the basic foundation for building positive behaviour that lasts is pivotal to their growth.
Sometimes, busy parents may find it challenging to stay consistent with their methods, but small steps make a big difference. Start with just one or two strategies, like consistent routines or providing simple choices, and gradually add more as you see positive results.
Read this blog to understand if your child is behaving badly or simply exploring a schema.